I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
