Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
