I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
