is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
