He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
