I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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