he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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