Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
