Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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