Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
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