he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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