Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
