haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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