Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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