That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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