He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
