No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
