For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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