so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
