that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
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I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
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Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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