We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
