the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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