Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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