oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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