you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
