Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
