508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Can you bring me the toilet please
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
