? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Found your dick twin last night
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
