he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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