I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
