He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
