She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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