So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
