these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
