i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
