I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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