so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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