Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize