I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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