if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
