i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
