That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
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I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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