My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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