The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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