He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
