There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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