But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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