it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
