Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
