She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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