She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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