Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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