i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
