I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
