Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
