You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
