the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
