carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
