So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
