I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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