high people should be assigned attendants
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
