garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
