woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
